they had me at “Dear Phil”

Have I told you recently how dreamy the Kinko’s online printing services are? I can print this complicated order with binding and crap, from 12,000 miles away, with my web browser.

I’ve done it before, and it’s indistinguishable from sufficiently advanced technology. However:

Your user Id and password for signing in to Print Online are

User Id: …
Password: …

For security reasons, FedEx Kinko’s recommends you take precautions to protect your password.

Thanks, you shitcocks. Maybe not sending it back to me in a plaintext email would be a noteworthy beginning.

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